you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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