JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
