i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
