i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
