I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
