they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
