He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
