he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
