I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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