evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
