I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is the high leading the old right now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
