Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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