It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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