I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
