i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
