Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
