Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
