saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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