I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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