flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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