I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
