winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
