It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
