I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize