Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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