fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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