Heybabeimwearingurpanties
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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