You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
