dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
