This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
