your thong is hanging out like whoa
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
