um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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