the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize