oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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