Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
