I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
