Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
