well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
