He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
