u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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