ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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