we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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