OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
