the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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