I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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