I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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