I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
