at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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