your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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