FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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