Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
