well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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