just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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