so explain again why im purple
no
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
