I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
