I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
