He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
