Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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