why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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