just tell him i said nine months
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
