On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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