i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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