you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
